Purpose and Significant Presence disappearing..

Been afew days now since I blogged huh... So much has happend in these few days since I blogged... to be honest I really haven been paying twinkie a visit lately... on top of that I've been going home much too... I guess I'm too sick and tired of the scene @ home... the lies, deceit, deception and betrayal... a game I'm all too familiar with, and now I feel I've come to a stand still... just living life from day to day... not caring if I live or die the next day... just taking it as it comes... if you live you live if you die you die... what difference does it make? focus? I think i've lost it... i cant focus nor concentrate anymore... I seem distracted in whatever I do... why dont someone just take a gun and shoot me... and it'll all be over... Why must my life revolve around deceit, deception and betrayal... I've been faithful but yet deceit, deception and betrayal revolves around me... are that faithful meant to be betrayed? If so why then should I continue to be faithful? a walk down memory lane huh... now I see how I've been so dumb... maybe I should just go to where I feel free, I think its beckoning me over once again... i think i can hear it...