A wonderful day but yet an impending doom approaches

haha wow a great sunday... haha well sunny for e 1st half then rainy for the next half... haha went out todae man felt great,relaxed and man the feeling was just awesome... simply awesome... its like a long lost feeling coming back haha... looks like I need to work hard again huh... oh wells went to watch "Money Not Enough2" haha man the show was great seriously it was hilarious but yet saddening @ the same time... I could really feel the pinch in my heart when all the sad parts were being screened... it also really made me reflect alot deep down inside... it made think.."do I want the same thing to happen to my parents or my grandmother?" to be honest I'm actually disturbed that it stirred my heart... oh wells never mind that... I just wished time would have stopped today... the feeling i felt... the tranquil air... it was just so peaceful, light and warm. Cheers! brother edmund you need to work hard! and step on it! just as i too also if we both want to attain what we want... its a tough and daunting task... but overcome it we will i support you, you support me ya? just like old times sake :) we have come a long way now lets carry on supporting and cheering each other on till we're old and wither away thats what brothers do aye :)

Now heres the sad part... I have to submit my letter of explanation and go for and interview later... i'm scared... really scared... my last chance is hanging on the balance... if everything goes badly... i really wun know what to do... this is too cruel... just as when i thought i have found the reason to rise back up from the ashes... however some part of me is crying, crying out to god for mercy, forgiveness and keeping a glimmer of faith and hope that things will be okay...

I feel that I must push on and completed rise out from the ashes... cos if I dont then I will never be able to push on to attain what i want... to start from scratch is hard... but I dont mind, I want to finally attain my goals... no matter how many times I fall off, I will and must get up and climb again...

a slow begining to the week

weeew... things have been moving pretty slowly nothing interesting has happend so far... other then the fact that yes i've been DEBARRED from my exams and thus having to repeat my entire sem2 and its gonna burn bloody huge hole in my pocket a naise whooping 2.4grand to repeat how naise... so yeah lor bo bian now need to work and hopefully i would have enuff... hopefully la, but heh reality says i wouldnt have enuff... /wrist man. err... well today's the 19th and erm yeah i really really need to find a job soon and hand in my reply slip to skool... lawl FER GOODNESS SAKES WAKE UP ALREADY!!! lawl hmm... well i've been sleeping "early" alrights like say 630 in the morning? hmm... dont ask me why i'm sleeping at that time... i clearly have no ideas what-so-eva... haha and clearly i'm screwed! haha everything seems upside down to me...LOLOL what a funky thing... but yeah other then everything seems to be alot slower... halp!

Everything is just but a past, a distant memory, a fragment of time

and so it seems with time passing by, everything has become a past, a memory, a fragment of time... what the future holds i do not know... neither am i wanting to know... but i do know this... i will not love another other den myself... yes selfish as it seems but there is no other way.... love can be a pain in the butt... and no i'm not gunning for lucky 7 either.... it shall just end @ 5... there can be no other way. there are so many things that has eluded me... and up till now, i dont see why must GOD create human in such a way that man and women must be together (well as it was written in da bible)... well i dont mean to sexiest here but honestly i think "brothers" are really the ones who help me out the most... they are like always ready when called upon... not girlfriends man... experience tells me they leave you the moment ur in deep shlt.. heh i for one have no such need for such a person... take a bullet for a brother? yes! take a bullet for girlfriend i'll definately think twice or maybe even thrice...

Looks like things in my family is going good... everything seems to fall into place... now all that is left is for me accept it as it is, and not what i would want it to be... i wonder will i ever ever accept things as they are? or will i continue to be that cold heartless creature... honestly speaking, i dont quite feel and remorse towards my parents, does that make me a heartless person? i dont know... but i do know i sure meant what i said... sometimes i feel lonely... but yet i dont wanna be disturbed... weird huh? feeling lonely and all but yet dont wanna be disturbed... maybe she right I'm emo alright... and I've been in an emo state for a long while now... just wanting to destroy my life... oh wells least i know i did some serious damage already... relationship with parents on the rocks, heh i'm that close to being kicked out of the house man... well honestly speaking i'm just waiting for it to happen... lets see what else... ah yes... i fucked myself in my education, gotta repeat sem2 and yes this is the last go... honestly i cant see a very bright future for myself... actually it kinda looks rather if not very bleak... well i've got 1 life... heh might as well enjoy it b4 i die man... like whu knows when i'll die? maybe 2hrs from now? or maybe tml? i dont know...

so bottom line... aint gonna get no one, just myself and my brothers and 1 life, live it to the happiest as i can. actually i might just leave the country, i think thats a better option... away from home...

:)

Jasmine is the most understanding girl ever, and oh my she's cute too :)

weaken body... unsure why it is so

hmm... so it seems that apparently shes forgotten... and that is the final straw... i guess i need to be that asshole huh... and so it shall be... revenge can be a real bitch... always remember that. oh wells that aside... i've been feeling really really really tired the entire day man... dunno wads wrong with my body but yeah... i'm easily worn out... every little thing makes me real tired even if its just cycling.. 

Oh my what is happening to my body!!! i think i need to push it more rather den rest... tune it to endure more rather then being so sloppy... grr... stupid body so weak... its needs to get stronger a whole lot stronger... 

The Ending of a chapter.

At last i think this chapter must come to a close... or rather it has already reached its end, i think at last i can begin to release all that has happened... no matter how unhappy it has been... well i cant possibly stick in 1 spot forever right? haha... well atleast i know what i have to do and all that shit... if certain things are meant to be then it will come to past eventually... there are plenty which i have to let go no matter how much i dont want to... pressing on like this is really going to do me no good at all... its unhealthy for everyone i suppose, oh wells i dont have to point fingers now i guess... if you know who you are then good, if you dont then tooo bad...lawl yup thats the harsh reality of life...lawl

A new chapter should always start off naise... haha but the endings of every chapter may not be naise and in this case it sure aint naise at all...haha but so what? SMILE! everything will eventually be solved... be patient.. rushing will only do more harm then good:)