Beginings of something great.

i must say i've took a long time to get back on track with GOD, but ever since i've made the decision to get back on track, i feel i've been progressing at a steady pace... but i feel the urge and the need to grow at an even faster pace, my passion and drive for JESUS has never been this strong and i'm happy that it is strong ") the road ahead is a long and harsh road... but hey who cares? if GOD is with me who can be against me? I guess everything began when i decided to settle down in City Harvest Church, i really began to experience GOD on a whole different level. Its like i've done so many horrible things, some of which i could never really forgive myself in the past... not until i decided to come back to GOD.. was when i could really forgive myself through the grace of GOD and his mercy.

I came back to GOD wounded, Shattered, Broken, But GOD who loved me for who i am healed me and ultimately accepted and forgave my sins... like all children we tend to rebel at times and disobey our parents but GOD loved us so much he sent his only son JESUS to die for us so that we may be saved. Everytime we sin against him, he feels very sad and hurt but yet through his grace and mercies for us he forgives us. who are we that should GOD do all this for us? I've come to the fact that it is because we're his creation, his children thats why he has done all this for us despite the fact that we have sinned time and time again, like a father who loves his rebellious child. God has never and will never FORSAKE me but it was i who chose to FORSAKE him, but still he accepted me when i cried out to him... still he forgave me... still he healed me.

As i grew along the way i was reminded about alot of things in the past... how i first started off to point when my flame was extinguished which ultimately led me to backslide... with all these bad experiences coming back to me... i realised i had the choice to either let it be a stepping stone for me to do greater things for GOD or let it be a foothold for satan to pull me back... yes those were hurting moments and the events that followed after... but now i choose to see those experiences as a learning point, a testimonial to GOD's greatness of how he has healed and pick me up from the ashes of my own destruction... a reminder of GOD's grace and mercy.

Ever since then i feel i've been blessed by GOD, i was given the 2nd chance to rise up for GOD... I responded to his 2nd calling... yes i turned away from my 1st calling many years ago to rise up for GOD... and by that step of faith that i took to rise up for GOD on the 2nd calling, i felt i've released myself from that nutshell i holed myself up in ever since she left me... i felt that i could do alot more for GOD. I feel that i'm somehow transforming into something great... leadership qualities that i once had are slowly being recovered from the abyss that i've discarded in. I can feel a revival happening around me... in the church and the cell group, GOD is definately moving within us and something great will happen. After i responded to the 2nd calling i felt the urgency to pray for the youths, felt as if that GOD is telling me to pray for the youths to be more driven and on fire for HIM, i felt the urgency to rise up and lead the younger generation into the great things to come from GOD.

I guess I didnt have to wait too long for an opportunity to rise up. There was a youth camp being organized and at first I telling myself well its for youths and i'm overaged... so I really was contemplating if I should go... i was actually trying to find more excuses to not go then reason to go! I mean its like since Brendan and Joel are going, it should be enough since they are leaders it really shouldn't be much of a problem (haha no offence guys if your reading it) and also i was thinking that it wouldn't make much of a difference if i went or not... I guess everything changed when i found out they would only be joining the team after their classes ended... and that only Ben and Jasmine would be around to lead the team on in Brendan and Joel's absence.. that was when I felt I should go to the camp and give my support too, and so it was i decided to go for the camp, (well my personal objectives for the camp were to support the team and learn atleast something from that experience... haha i never had the intention of going to the camp for the fun installed.) and beside my mum was urging me to go for the camp too since i had nothing to do. (Praise the Lord!)

Well i wouldn't really write much about the camp itself but instead i'm going to write more about what I've learnt from the camp. (i just realised that i'm getting alil draggy in this post haha...) GOD sure has everything planned nicely for me, i mean i really wanted an opportunity to rise up for HIM and he made it in such a way that i really had to rise up its as if i didnt have a choice haha what a way but i'm glad i was given that opportunity. i guess i really learnt and rediscoverd my leadership qualities that i've lost, (well actually i chose to deny those qualities.) I really believed GOD has taken my patience and understanding level up 1 notch. I also really learnt to be a team player this time round, (i really used to be a lone ranger type of fellow... u can ask edmund.) and also i rediscovered my desire to lead. well there is 1 more thing that i rediscovered... but that is going to be a personal secret between me, a brother and GOD for now haha... I really want to thank Ben (he thought me how to not allow pesonal feelings get in the way :p) and especially Jasmine (she really said alot of things to me which really made me go into deep thoughts.) for without them i would not have be able to learn what i have learnt and rediscover what i have lost so many years ago.. so a VERY BIG THANK YOU TO BOTH OF YOU!!!

Ultimately, THANK YOU GOD for allowing me to go for the camp and also for the things you have done in my life, THANK YOU JESUS for saving me, THANK YOU HOLY SPIRIT for guiding me!!!