and so it seems with time passing by, everything has become a past, a memory, a fragment of time... what the future holds i do not know... neither am i wanting to know... but i do know this... i will not love another other den myself... yes selfish as it seems but there is no other way.... love can be a pain in the butt... and no i'm not gunning for lucky 7 either.... it shall just end @ 5... there can be no other way. there are so many things that has eluded me... and up till now, i dont see why must GOD create human in such a way that man and women must be together (well as it was written in da bible)... well i dont mean to sexiest here but honestly i think "brothers" are really the ones who help me out the most... they are like always ready when called upon... not girlfriends man... experience tells me they leave you the moment ur in deep shlt.. heh i for one have no such need for such a person... take a bullet for a brother? yes! take a bullet for girlfriend i'll definately think twice or maybe even thrice...
Looks like things in my family is going good... everything seems to fall into place... now all that is left is for me accept it as it is, and not what i would want it to be... i wonder will i ever ever accept things as they are? or will i continue to be that cold heartless creature... honestly speaking, i dont quite feel and remorse towards my parents, does that make me a heartless person? i dont know... but i do know i sure meant what i said... sometimes i feel lonely... but yet i dont wanna be disturbed... weird huh? feeling lonely and all but yet dont wanna be disturbed... maybe she right I'm emo alright... and I've been in an emo state for a long while now... just wanting to destroy my life... oh wells least i know i did some serious damage already... relationship with parents on the rocks, heh i'm that close to being kicked out of the house man... well honestly speaking i'm just waiting for it to happen... lets see what else... ah yes... i fucked myself in my education, gotta repeat sem2 and yes this is the last go... honestly i cant see a very bright future for myself... actually it kinda looks rather if not very bleak... well i've got 1 life... heh might as well enjoy it b4 i die man... like whu knows when i'll die? maybe 2hrs from now? or maybe tml? i dont know...
so bottom line... aint gonna get no one, just myself and my brothers and 1 life, live it to the happiest as i can. actually i might just leave the country, i think thats a better option... away from home...
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