Eternal Hatred

I hate you all! my hate is so strong for all of you that i shall take it along with even to my death bed! WHY DID BOTH YOU EVEN BRING ME INTO THIS WORLD FOR?! all that you both have given are nothing but suffering! BOTH OF YOU ARE ULTIMATE FAILURES! and it shall be so even till the day both of you die! I HATE BOTH OF YOU!!! DONT EVER CALL ME SON ANYMORE!! I HATE I HATE I HATE!

collapsing from within, could there still be hope?

hmm... nothing much has improved... instead matters got worst... i'm losing it soon, crumbling from within i can feel... man my net has fucked me real bad over the past few days, pay so much for this kind of FUCKED UP service... balls to you singnet... oh wells @least i'm getting a new comp this thursdae... well hopefully i guess... things dont look so great atm, struggling to stay afloat in every department i guess, i long to rest but i cant no matter how tired i am... every night i sleep 2-4hrs max, and even then they arent peaceful ones... i wake up every now and then, my mind constantly thinks, i cant stop myself... too many problems i cant keep up, its getting heavier by the day... when will i at last collapse? a truth from a lie and a lie from a truth... i no longer know how to tell the difference... there is no sanctuary for me, only the harsh world... i have no place to hide and rest. will someone offer me sanctuary? no i guess not, no one knows how i feel or what i've been through... and no one will ever be bothered anyways.

All seems lost... i do not see a glimmer of hope... there is no light, only the eternal darkness of the abyss awaits. i have lost my light and soon my strength... i am but just an ordinary human being... i too will get tired, i too will get hurt, i too have feelings but soon i'll prolly just be that emotionless guy once more... numbed to all hurt, anger, joy, love, jealousy, hatred, happiness.

a slightly interesting day but uneventful week

oh man life's in a mess... very thing is a mess right now :x man i hate this kinda stuff man, gotta slowly piece everything back together again, its kinda tiring but hey i aint got a choice now here do I? lawl guess what? I've been WoW-ing alot lately man... seems like the good old days are coming back again... well it could be a bad thing... but @least it helps me get a whole load of shlt of my mind man... I wun have to constantly think of this and think of that... what a pain in da @ss it can be sometimes... haha I think i need to find something else to do fast man... or else i'll soon die on WoW again... now I'm just w8ing for WoTLK to release man... once it does... WoW here i come full time man! haha they amazing thing is... i abit sick and tired of my bitch man... althou my she more geared den my dude... i kinda find my dude more fun atm... lawl... man how i missed the days where we had everyone back den... we had puss(jon), merii(marc), myheart(steph), gene(lit), amil(jim), kx, mich(myself), fanta(yip), daphne(km), yipz(wilson), tonoz(paul), yuenx(william) and last but not least angelicsyn(christine)... thou she joined us much later... haha man those were the days man... now all that are left... mich, merri, fanta... everyone else retired... 

well today was rather funny in WoW... some lock scolded me just cos they kicked me out from the party and i got pissed and wiped the entire party... haha it went something like this.

krados: ccb

me: knnbccb

me: you think onli you know how to scold ah?

krados: fuck u la....cb noob shit

me: not interested in you... go fuck someone else

LAWL after tht he never msg me liao... banged right up to hes balls man! what a bloody singaporean joker... must be a freaking nerd that hides behind the screen... i wonder if he has any balls in the first place... lawl... oh wells atleast i know i'll be WoW-ing for awhile to keep things off my mind... thou i've got plenty to worry right now... but hey who am i kidding? no worries man... i aint gonna die that easily, gonna take alot more den this to kill me off... err well i hope so? haha well thats all for todae man. Ciao!

Wounded...Bleeding...

All that has happend... at last could the end be near? could my insignificant presence finally be coming to an end? what else is there left? i've lost all significant interest... wounded? yes... and its not closing... bleeding slowly, till there's no more blood left to spill... being crushed slowly under the mighty weight... i can barely stand... right now i'm standing for 2 purpose only... forcing myself to carry on... but once these 2 purpose crumbles... i will surely fall... sometimes i wonder how much more can i go on... after all i'm just but a ordinary human being... eventually my body and mind will give way... i've taken quite a beating no physically, but emotionally and mentally... my mental barrier can no longer protect me... its been crushed by him. all i've left is just me, myself and her...

now i just hope my wounds can heal... hopefully it will, i'm using what is left to pull thru this tough time... and apparently this is the toughest time in my 23years of existence. May God save me.

A situation, History repeating itself?

hmm... been a long time since i blogged.. i think certain things have certainly improved... but still i face the problems... and now i stand face to face with history again... what has happend years ago is happening again... everything is the same... same setup, same situation, just different people involved... i wonder what would the outcome be this time round... will I fail just like the last time round? or will something different happen this time round? regardless I am afraid, so very afraid to lose everything... to lose those that are precious to me... esp her... what should I do? i'm confused... so very confused... lost and empty... may GOD help me.

Someone shoot me already

Amagad! will someone just shoot me already... this is getting crappier by the day... omg emotional unstability...JUST WTF IS GOING ON... this whole damm thing is bullshit, i just wonder how much longer can my mask last before cracking... I rather someone shoot me before my mask breaks apart. problems aplenty, so run away and fight another day? bullshit there wouldnt be another day... it's over man this is way way way way way too much for me to handle... FOR FARKS SAKE LOOK @ THE FARKING PROBLEMS
1.Family (Big pain in the @SS)
2.Love life (It sucks to be a libra)
3.Emo shit (Dun farking ask me I also dunno why)
4.Lonely? now wtf is that kind of problem>
5.Insignificant presence (Oh yeah thats the real deal baby)

*pulls out his Desert Eagle, points it to his head and pulls the trigger...BANG!* if only things were that easy... life is so insignificant now, doesnt really matter to me anymore with what happens... I think I had enough liao, this is so fucked...

Is everything an Illusion?

Another truth has been revealed in the on raging saga within the family... I'm confused more then ever now, I've totally lost my confidence in da family... I no longer know what is going on... ironic isn't it? how I so totally used to the game of deception and betrayal, get knocked off my seat in this saga just like that, thrown into disarray... family is suppose to be united eh? well the way I see it now its just me, myself and I man... I dont even know who I can trust now... looks like all I can trust is myself now... I guess that is just the way to survive now... so what I've seen all these years is just an illusion? how great... my life an illusion... fantastic... so what is real? Has my whole life been a lie? I think only time will tell... until den I guess I just have to find my way around this whole damm shlt hole.