making a come back 1 step @ a time

wow feels like i've been hit with 1 sucker punch after coming round... zzz as much as i would like to return the favour i guess i need to pick up the peices glue them back together den give the sucker punch back....lawl okay seriously if mel hadnt talk to me, i wouldnt have come around... sheesh so i guess in life unexpected things happens when you meet unpredictable people... anyways i've always made a comeback somehow... its just a matter of when and how nia... so perhaps this time round i'll come back beautifully with a bang? hmm... interesting...

smashed, destroyed, finished

its over man nothing i did was ever enuff nor appreciated... no matter how hard i tried it was never enuff heh... a winner amoung losers a loser amoung winners... fantastic... i need to fly away... i wished i could drown away dose myself in lots of alcohol... there is no more purpose in life... no more hope, goodbye!!!! *stabs myself in da HEART*

Crisis Core

I thought things would be better if i could just look on the brighter side of things, try be normal... however a slight push of pressure and i started to feel de-stablized. now how then can I recover? those that know my condition please help me? cos I really dont know how to go about recovering... some tell me to do this and some tell me to do that, hiaz i really dont know anymore all i know is i'm about to enter in a state of crisis. its says "deadman walking" sometimes i really do feel like a deadman walking, i dont know why but i do feel that way. hiaz may god save my soul,body and mind.

an extinguished flame

Under the Crimson red sky, a heart shattered into oblivion lost forever into the abyss of pain and hurt, the light has faded and darkness reigns, gone are the days of cheery smiles and laughter come now the days of sorrow and sadness. From the Crimson red sky droplets of crimson tears rain down heavily and there he stands soaked in sadness, his eyes blinded for the light has gone wandering in the abyss of pain and hurt, the flame of hope has ceased to burn and along with it redemption was lost. Now trying to rise up again from the ashes of pain, hurt and deceit he now forges a heart of cold iron will, darkness in his eyes he has now begun the road of destruction and death, the vision and dream that was given to him, an outcast of the faith, a condemned person destine to walk the long journey alone, vengence trickles a merciless deed entices, a remorseless mind become his only sheild and weapon.

Of the 4 candles that keeps a person believing, 3 had died out and now the last and most important candle, the flame of hope has been all but extinguish and thus that person has ceased to believe.

random post

yoyo! updating after CnY? lol nothing much to update la... its been a pretty uneventful CnY lo... its like just as i predicted it to be? haha not much income this year also... recession la, haha amazingly there's still those stingy fellows out there that puts in 2 bucks man... oh wells doesnt matter thouGod provides for me anyways... as long as i stay faithful thou haha. sometimes i wonder what is it like to be a mercenary... i mean you get paid to put your life on the line for whoever pays the highest... its like loyalty being bought over, i really wonder what goes on in a mind of a merc. haha just some random thing la sif i wanna be a mercenary... haha oh wells peace out people. i'll see ya all when i do ")

New year?

hey everyone happy new year man! haha actually theres almost nothing to post haha seriously I cant think of anything to write... other then that i'm going thru a messy period... haha anyways people Have a happy new year! wishing everyone the best!!!

R.A.G.E

" Anger promotes death, Joy gives life. "

well I guess I'm pretty much angry and raging @ myself now... I guess sometimes the hardest part is forgiving oneself and not others. when you fail to forgive yourself anger and rage starts to take over, slowly wrapping ur heart and consuming you. The worst part is the more you try to control it and wrestle with it, the stronger it becomes. Anger is a powerful weapon, but what can counter it?


-marc